Monday, July 14, 2008

The C Word

So I may have written this tiny little article once, all about how I hate the C word.

That’s right…cuddling.

A long time ago in a galaxy far far away, I hated cuddling. Just the thought of it made my skin develop some deep rash worse then the time I overused Neutrogena Sunless tanning from a bottle made in 1999, thinking the chemicals would not have broken down yet and it caused me to be put in isolation for three days with no food, water, or shelter. That MAY be an exageration, or it may be the TRUTH.

I used to believe that there needed to be rules and regulations. Kind of like a sports game, you know the ones that require "referees" and "people in uniforms" handing out penalties and time outs. Too much leg action and there would be a ten minute penalty resulting in a loss of a defensive player on the field.

But I have to say, for the first time ever. I , Kim Forrest , fucking love cuddling.

That’s right. I fucking love it. There I said it. Are you happy now?

I love it so much I can’t get enough of it. In fact if I could cuddle all day, I think I would. That’s right, I said it again. I could CUDDLE ALL DAY.


There, go ahead, call me an anti-cuddle traitor. But truth be told, I feel like it is some sort of amazing therapy that I could essentially pay thousands of dollars for. Just laying there entangled in legs and arms I think ever single problem I ever had could be solved.

Stressed about your credit card debt? Go cuddle.

Hate your boss? How about some Spooning?

Developing a severe case of the bubonic plague and your baby’s daddy is about to sell your trailer for two meth pipes?..Someone needs a good cuddle.

I don’t know what happened to me. Somewhere along the line I started to actually crave a good cuddle. I can’t wait not to just throw arms and legs and hands and hair all over someone and hope I don’t drool all over their neck, but even if I do, hey it’s like the drool of Gods, so who cares!

Someone needs to seriously punch me in the face.

What the fuck happened to me?
Before you know it I am going to start watching things like ‘Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants’ and crying into a box of Tampons. Someone needs to drain some estrogen out of me before I start DVR’ing Snuggle Bear commercials

8 Cizz-omments:

Kat said...

ha, no worries lady, i LOVE IT TOO!..even though I am ashamed to admit it sometimes!

Jocular Schlemiel said...

The most dreaded words in my relationship are not "We need to talk"...they are "Um....snuggle?"

NYCPonderings Chick said...

@Joc- I am seriously LOLing at my desk!

MsPuddin said...


what is wrong with you? totally losing cool puddin' points right now. cudding is right up there with sweaty balls and herpes. not a good look.

modelbehavior said...

hahahaahahah crying into tampons....

Lioux said...

You know.

Just when you think you know somebody...



Cunning_Linguist said...

You know that end scene in Invasion of the Body Snatchers where Donald Sutherland points out what's her face and screeches because she's not one of them. I'm doing that right now.

surviving myself said...

You just turned into The Average Woman. It makes me sad. Like this: