Monday, October 15, 2007

Things That Make My Ovaries Cry

Last weekend I made the fatale mistake of renting, ‘The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants’, thinking it was going to be ‘cute’. About an hour into it I felt like if I endured anymore estrogen my ovaries would explode, as my uterus tried to commit suicide off the edge of my fallopian tubes.

I want them to be my BFFs forever and share half heart
necklaces and sing Ace of Base 'dont turn around'
That movie had so much crying and talking, and talking and crying, I was in hormone hell…it was like I had rented two hours worth of menstruation. After that movie I needed to watch four hours of football, scratch my non-existent balls, or scratch someone else’s balls for that matter, and make some pussy jokes.
my ovaries are crying inside
When did women start enjoying this? Do we not talk about our feelings enough as it is? Do we actually need to watch others talk about theirs now too?
If you have ever sat and watched a reality show such as 'The Bachelor' with a group of women, you would know that women can talk about anything for hours. I had a three hour debate once with my roommates once on why the Bachelor picked the blonde girl in the purple dress versus the blonde girl in the red dress. We had theories and speculations. We even made charts and diagrams and I believe someone brought over a projector and some slides for a PowerPoint presentation or some microfiche. It was all very scientific.
I like using advanced technology

And you know what I finally came to the conclusion of? …Goddamn women talk a lot about nothing.