Look at Jim here, he already got laid twice because of this article.Oh the timeless art of buying a girl a drink. As ex-roommie and I sometimes joke, we can go out on the town with five dollars in our pockets and come home with twenty-five...oh wait, hmm, maybe that was a stripper joke I heard at Scores...regardless I think it still applies... It is the only advantage to being a women sometimes, besides being able to lactate, which I hear is extremely handy in providing nourishment to 'babies'... that can't be proven though, unlike my five-dollar theory, which is scientifically proven to be true.
Drink-buying, however, is also a much disputed over topic between men and women. I know plenty of men out there who actually refuse to buy a woman they don't know any drinks at a bar and will go out of their way to avoid the drink-buying game. I debated this question with a guy friend over the phone once;
“It is considered good manners to offer a girl a drink if you plan on chatting with her for the rest of the night, or if you are getting a drink for yourself,” I reasoned.
”Kim,” he said. “Buying random girls drinks is for sad, pathetic men who can’t get a girl anyway.”
“So you wouldn’t buy me a drink?”
“This is 2008 and women have have jobs now.”
“But my job doesn’t pay as much as your job does.”
“Well, then maybe you need to get a new job.”
So why can’t we have jobs and get our free drinks too?
Not only is buying a woman drinks an art form, but actually avoiding the person who bought you the drink afterwards is, I believe, the true art. I tend to be polite, try and stay and chat for as long as I think the drink is worth it.. then I make some excuse about having to get back home to my sister who is recovering from a bad case of the black plague (Hey, I hear it's coming back around again).
DRINK BOUGHT - CHAT TIME
Beer on Tap - 0 minute-Why the fuck would you chat with this poor bastard? Why don't you just suggest to him you go to the local 7-11 and grab a 40 and call it a night in his mom's basement apartment...and I hear M*A*S*H is on repeat at 12:30am.
Wine -10 minutes- Don’t ask me why he gets one more minute, not everything in the universe makes sense. Although, minus two minutes if the wine was a house Pinot Grigio.
I don't have enough time in the universe to comment on what is wrong with Tevas