Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Military Boy...Part 2

So I have this fantasy. And not like a sexual fantasy....and not even like my normal fantasy where a bunch of firemen come to a roof deck in Brazil to show me their hoses. Seriously, their hoses, I mean you just can’t even believe how strong the water flow is on those damn things.

But I digress:

So I have been having a fantasy about Military Boy...a “daydream” if you "intellectuals" will.

It goes something like this.

Military Boy gets hurt in Iraq…but not like hurt-hurt, just something small, just something small enough where they have to send him back home. Maybe like gets a pinkie finger blown off or something, something that doesn’t really matter. Or gets appendicitis …yes! That’s it! Needs an appendectomy…or maybe a really bad bladder infection (can dudes get those?).

So he gets this “small injury” and they need to send him home…but not just home, to a hospital…and not to just any hospital...but whatever medical procedure they need to do to him can only be done by the hospital that is a block away from my apartment. Because the only real appendectomies place happens to be across the street. And his family, well his poor family, is out there living in the South, probably miles away from running water and cannot fly to come see him…..

Who is the bitch in the white dress trying to steal my thunder?

So guess who he has to call? …No no, not the girls from Scores... no, he has to call ME ..And I walk into the hospital room, and he is laying there and looks up, and I am like a vision, probably wearing my purple dress with the V-Neck that caused me to max out my Banana Republic card, and it breezes around as I walk in the room, because there is always a light breeze from somewhere.

I spend the whole week with him, caring for him and I bring gifts and fruit and laptops and puppies....And by the time his parents finally arrive at the hospital, I am laying there on the hospital couch, asleep... Exhausted from all the “caring”.

And his parents look over at me and then look at Military Boy and say, “wow, she must be one amazing woman to stay here with you all this time.” And he bows his head and says, “She is Mom…she really is…”

End Scene.

Soooo, I know what you’re thinking…this could really happen…right?