Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Just Another Jesus Post

I just recently returned back to civilization from a place many refer to as, "The New Jersey Shore" ...but I like to refer to it as "Vinny Put On Too Much Tanning Lotion Shore". In case you are unaware of the shore, my friend Colleen put it into perspective for me, she mentioned on our first day there , "My boyfriend Google'd Belmar just to see where we would be staying and the only thing that came up was pictures of guys on steroids in tight T-Shirts.." So he assumed we were either going to 'The Shore' or to a large Gay festival celebrating hard nipples and Tuna Fish sandwiches...and man oh man do I wish it was the latter...

If he isn't sexy, then I don't know what sexy is

I feel as though after spending my weekend covered in bronzer (side note- I love that spell check doesn't' even know that the fucking word Bronzer is..get with it spell check, get fucking with it!).. I really need to repent my sins...And you all know what "repenting my sins" means...

It is time for a Jesus Post!

This was me and Jesus playing at the Bronx Zoo..
those damn animals love him..

Praise Mary Magdalene Sweet Sally Jesse Rafael, yes, it is time to spend a short moment discussing the man of the moment, that's right. Jesus Christ. I feel like Jesus and I have many intimate conversations, mainly about important things in life such as my nephews being born or if Tasty Delight really is calorie free (Jesus is on the fence about it as well).

I’ve always wanted to have a celebrity as my best friend….like someone really cool and famous to be my best bud….a really good celebrity too…like Jesus.

I think Jesus would make an awesome best friend. And like we would do super cool things together like go shopping, I am thinking, Neiman Marcus? Although I hear he is more of a Bloomingdale's kinda guy.

For starters I would totally take him to get new sandals because I mean where did he get those ugly sandals anyways, Macy's or something? And we I would definitely take him to get him a new smock. The one he wears is put together so badly Like,what, they didn’t have sewing machines back then or something? Common.

Jesus and I could do cool best friend things too like get one of those "Best Friends Forever" necklaces.

Jesus could have the half of the heart that says "Best" and I could have the half of the heart that says "Friend".

The great thing about having a best friend like Jesus is the fact that you could get into any club you wanted. No more waiting in line at Marquee or Pink Elephant. People would be showing with friends like "Paris Hilton".. and I would be like "Ummm I am here with..JESUS CHRIST..."..And they would just let us right in.