SELFABSORBED.ME

Mom- "Kimberly, I am sorry to bother you at work, but I have a very important question to ask you."

Me- "What Mom?"

Mom- "How do I check my voicemail?"

Me- "Mom, you have had a cell phone for two years now, what do you mean you dont know how to check your voicemail?"

Mom-"Are you typing right now? I hear you typing, can you stop and pay attention? I need you to explain it to me again."

Me- (loud sigh, thoughts of zanax) "Alright Mom, first you dial *86"

(beep..beep..beep)

Me-"No Mom, not right now, dont do this right now, wait until I hang up."

Mom-" Oh ok, ok, keep going hunny, well wait, let me get a pen, let me find a CRAIG! CRAIG WHERE DID YOU PUT MY PENS, I TOLD YOU NOT TO MOVE MY..oh, ok, here we go, I have one now."

Me-" So dial *86 and when you hear the recording start enter in your password."

Mom-"What's my password?"

Me- "What do you mean what's your password, you created it!"

Mom-"Can't you just tell me what it is?"

Me- "Mom, I dont know what your password is, YOU are the one who created it.."

Mom" Ok, oh dear, oh well hmm..I think it is 1111...can you check and see if that is right?"

Me-"No Mom, I can't check, you will have to check...so enter it in and hit pound and then all your messages should come up."

Mom-"Ok hunny, I will go try it, thank you for all your help, I know you know this technology whoha."

Hang up.

Five minutes later, phone rings.

Mom- "Hi Honey!"

Me- "Mom, why are you calling me again?"

Mom-"Because I just got your message! You called and left a message for me to call you back!"

Me- "Mom I left that message three months ago...ok I am getting off the phone now..."