Wednesday, February 20, 2008

McCain, Paid to Blog? Am I Paid to Blog? Are WE Paid to Blog? And Other Questions From Jesus

So in case any of you have been following John McCain recently, or maybe you might even just know who he is, or even know that he actually exists…or maybe, just maybe, know that he MIGHT be a person whom could possibly exist and walks and talks and has eaten Skippy Peanut butter before (the chunky kind obviously). I want to update you on a little information regarding his daughter. Speaking with a reporter on the Today show awhile back, I was lazily getting dressed in the morning, and by “getting dressed” I do mean...”kicking the three men in spandex and roller skates out of my bed while I negotiated a caffeine-drug-deal with my local barista via wire-transfer”…and I overheard McCain speaking of his daughter, when the reporter asked about her job he said in all seriously, “Well, you know, she is …a blogger.”

I looked at this 71 year old man and wondered if he even knew what a blogger was, or more so, what had his daughter insisted to him it might be? And more to the point did he know that most bloggers …wait for it…waaaait for it…..don’t get paid?!

Holy high rollers, I bet Mr. McCain might fall right off his rocking chair if someone tells him that. See, to me, a “job” implies something that you do, that you might not like doing, but you do it anyways because you get PAID. And the paycheck part helps a whole lot on distinguishing that what you do is in fact a “job”. See there are many things that I do on a frequent basis that I don’t consider to be my “job”. Things such as clogging the guest toilet with paper towels…flossing my back molars…berating minimum wage sales employees….see how all these things are “FUN”, but aren’t necessarily my “JOB”?

I wonder if Mr. McCain’s daughter has told her about all the great ‘benefits’ that comes with having a ‘job’ such a blogging, benefits like …perfect strangers wanting to round-house kick you in the face…death threats to small animals you might own (sorry Mr. Whiskers)…or my favorite, applications for mail-order brides (hey don’t knock it, I’m on page 74 next to Kmishla, the dark-haired horse tamer).

But I digress.

I guess my hope is one day, when John McCain looks over his bank statements and notices that 100K is missing he can find out that it was all going to support his daughter's blogging 'job'.

Well played Miss McCain, well played…way to put one on over your old man’s head…a man who might someday be the future fucking president of the United States. Great.

So now if you will excuse me, I have to go, my ‘blogging job’ as my ‘blogging phone’ is ringing off the hook and I have to go fill out my ‘blogging health insurance’ form right now.