So in exactly one week something big is going to happen. Bigger then big actually. Something that may change the universe forever.
“Hello, My Name is Kimberly, and I do not want a Birthday party”.
So there you have it. In one week I will be 27. Yes. I am officially old. And for the past 27 years I have been parting like it’s 1981. But this year, I can’t say exactly what, but something feels different. As you can imagine, having a birthday that falls on Halloween weekend has always been the challenge…I have had Cowgirl themed parties, 80’s themed parties, Scuba-Steve parties... Last year I got ten party goers across a red rope, one who randomly walked in drunk, I made the bouncer give me a piggy-back ride, fell on the dancefloor, and ripped my dress…essentially exactly what a birthday should be about.
This year though, I am having the Old Person Blues. Yes, 27 is still young, but it’s fairly close to having to “accomplish” things…or “figure things out”…or “give up your coke habit”.
I mean I don’t know, this whole getting older thing is very confusing. Should I be married by now? Should I be having kids? Should I run for governor of Alaska?
In lieu of a normal party this year, I feel like something different and non-fun. I want a good ol’ non-fun birthday. So here are some of my ideas:
- Sit at home alone and watch “Steel Magnolias”, and cry.
-Sit at home wrapped up in a wool blanket, eat cookies and cry.
-Knit an entire sweater out of corduroy
- Watch re-runs of Full House and mutter to myself about the ‘good old days’.
-Go to 4pm early bird dinner special wearing some sort of heavy rubber soled shoe
- Speed-walk around the mall at 8am, then go home and complain about my arthritis
I would like it if you could all vote on what I should do....