So in exactly one week something big is going to happen. Bigger then big actually. Something that may change the universe forever.
“Hello, My Name is Kimberly, and I do not want a Birthday party”.
“Hello Kimberly.”
So there you have it. In one week I will be 27. Yes. I am officially old. And for the past 27 years I have been parting like it’s 1981. But this year, I can’t say exactly what, but something feels different. As you can imagine, having a birthday that falls on Halloween weekend has always been the challenge…I have had Cowgirl themed parties, 80’s themed parties, Scuba-Steve parties... Last year I got ten party goers across a red rope, one who randomly walked in drunk, I made the bouncer give me a piggy-back ride, fell on the dancefloor, and ripped my dress…essentially exactly what a birthday should be about.
This year though, I am having the Old Person Blues. Yes, 27 is still young, but it’s fairly close to having to “accomplish” things…or “figure things out”…or “give up your coke habit”.
I mean I don’t know, this whole getting older thing is very confusing. Should I be married by now? Should I be having kids? Should I run for governor of Alaska?
In lieu of a normal party this year, I feel like something different and non-fun. I want a good ol’ non-fun birthday. So here are some of my ideas:
- Sit at home alone and watch “Steel Magnolias”, and cry.
-Sit at home wrapped up in a wool blanket, eat cookies and cry.
-Knit an entire sweater out of corduroy
- Watch re-runs of Full House and mutter to myself about the ‘good old days’.
-Go to 4pm early bird dinner special wearing some sort of heavy rubber soled shoe
- Speed-walk around the mall at 8am, then go home and complain about my arthritis
I would like it if you could all vote on what I should do....
12 Cizz-omments:
haha awww babe, I think you should def knit a sweater and then give it to me and I will sell it on ebay..
or also you can make pudding and complain about how milk isnt delivered to your door anymore..
You don't have to tell me about suck holiday birthdays. Try having one on New Year's Eve. Yeah, that's right. Quite the little tax break. Well lemme tell ya's all something... I've been shafted out of gifts and good times for quite some time now. "Oh, catch you next time. X-mas tapped me out".
Do what Uncle Cunning does, baby-doll. Have a day of NYCPonderings Chick. Lock the doors. Take no calls. Lay around in your underwear and be grumpy. Calories don't count on that day. If they did, I'd be pretty upset about the mega ben&jerry's ice cream fest I throw down.
*pats you on the head* Happy birthday, muffin.
You don't have to tell me about suck holiday birthdays. Try having one on New Year's Eve. Yeah, that's right. Quite the little tax break. Well lemme tell ya's all something... I've been shafted out of gifts and good times for quite some time now. "Oh, catch you next time. X-mas tapped me out".
Do what Uncle Cunning does, baby-doll. Have a day of NYCPonderings Chick. Lock the doors. Take no calls. Lay around in your underwear and be grumpy. Calories don't count on that day. If they did, I'd be pretty upset about the mega ben&jerry's ice cream fest I throw down.
*pats you on the head* Happy birthday, muffin.
I think that maybe you should go with the Full House reruns...cause they can make you cry and want to eat cookies all at the same time.
Buy a pint of your favorite ice cream, eat the whole thing, then realize that you are lactose intolerant, and be sick for the rest of the day.
Complain about how your grandchildren don't call anymore and keep telemarketers on the phone for a long time to discuss how much your bones hurt.
Happy birthday.
Girlfriend, I vote for: Speed-walk around the mall at 8am, then go home and complain about my arthritis..In fact, I'll do it with you, I have some bitchin to do, as I'm still not over my 30th Birthday last year, I've been feeling the old blues all year, and need therapy as to why not one single friend remembered the BAD day, and cooincidentially, my family was all dispersed on vacations, the only one who remembered was my twin, go figure, and that was a 1am call from Colorado drunk singing into my voice mail! So, Yea, speed walking, I'm all about it, arthritis, here I come!
-BackBay gal.
Please come to LA and celebrate.
Thanks.
xoxo,
So@24
I was just discussing the topic of birthdays with my cousin this evening! He turns 26 today and I turned the big 2-6 in June and we've realized that it's just not as exciting to have a birthday anymore. Gone are the days of celebrating your birthday with balloons and clowns and ponies and body shots and karaoke and one-night stands, and here are the days of celebrating your birthday by going to work in the morning and eating a cupcake that you will probably feel bad about in the morning.
Sad.
Put on your (new) green tube top, go party like it's 1981 and thank goodness you're not Zen Denizen's age?
honey, whoever told you that you have to give up that coke habit lied to you...
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