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Thursday, October 4, 2007

Thin Walls, Cell Phones and The Discovery Channel...essentially everything upsetting in life

I used to live in an apartment on 80th street that was about the size of a cubical and my roommate Molly’s and my bedroom were separated by essentially a sheet of poster board. Lifestyles of the rich and famous for sure. Molly had a boyfriend at the time who was a merchant marine who used to come over to our place and turn on the Discovery channel and watch shows about ships…and water…and things made with screws and metal…it was all very upsetting for me.

This is about the actual size of my apartment on 80th street, it was also a center for
kids who want to learn how to read good

For some reason though whenever her boyfriend came over I was always doing something that seemed to clarify the fact why I was the single one, such as being in bed watching the reenactment of the Michael Jackson Trial on E!, eating massive amounts of those yellow chickadee marshmallows. They would be in her bedroom right next door to me, kissing and cuddling, while I sat in my green face mask, practicing how to take photos of myself with my digital camera.
I was always frightened I would wake up to the sounds of something more than the Discovery ship channel blowing horns at night and possibly to the sound of something else being…um…blown… so I went to bed most nights with my fan set on high.

One of my good friends also suffered with a case of ‘thin walls’ and was subjected to listening to her roommate’s vibrator one night. The first time she woke up she was positive a cell phone was going off. She realized after a good ten minutes that unless that vibrating cell phone had some serious battery power this was not exactly a late night phone call going on. And her roommate had a body odor problem to boot..and slept on a mattress on the floor with all her clothes piled into trash bags, no joke, 'Classy' is the only word I know how to describe that...She was not the kind of girl you want to imagine ever taking her underwear off for anything. In fact I think underwear should have been permanently sewn onto her body along with a metal chastity belt and 15 sticks of deodorant…but hey, I’m just thinking out loud here.

If these aren't sexy, then I don't know what Sexy is..

14 Cizz-omments:

NYC said...

that underwear is hot, too hot

Quarterlifegirl said...

I had to learn how to have "college" sex in college, which entails no sounds and spooning with little movements, hehe! Or the age old schedule sex around your roommates schedule which sometimes lead to being discovered if a class was cancled! Ahhh the craziness fo college and sticking young horny people in one tiny room. Luckily I never had to after and now I am as loud as I want, hehhe! Love you blog!

NYCPonderings Chick said...

omg scheduling sex around your roommate's classes is a CLASSIC...too funny!!!

modelbehavior said...

aaaaaaah that phone vibrator thing made me laugh out loud.

PS I HATE listening to other ppl having sex, yet I think I'm pretty loud in bed. I'm a hypocrite, right?

NYCPonderings Chick said...

model HA I feel sorry for your roommates then

Ha Ha Sound said...

This is why I don't have roommates. I can be as loud and as acrobatic and crazy as I want. The only weird thing is, it freaks me out a bit during sex when I look up and my cat is staring at me.

NYCPonderings Chick said...

HA- yeah, wow I dont know how I would feel about that one, I might get too distracted and have to put it in a seperate room or something..

So@24 said...

Wow. I think I puked in my mouth a little.

For some reason, that last picture made me wonder why cod pieces went out of style

Jarod said...

Hilarious! I will now have to second-guess cellphone vibrations.

Hey, I think that underwear is sexy - of course, I'm a museum curator so I'm off by a couple centuries...

Mortarbored said...

I got to listen to my roommate get laid the very first night spent in our apartment. It started with flipping hit mattress on the floor, as his bed wasn't assembled yet.

MsPuddin said...

Our apartment has thin walls too. I worry about my roommate and her boyfriend, I never hear them having sex. I always hear our neighbors having sex, but its very routine and boring, nothing to whip MY vibrator out to.

And thanks for the tidbits on things to do while my roommate and her man are in the other room “discovering” things. I can take pics of myself eating marshmallows or wait what did you say… ?

LisaBinDaCity said...

This post is reminding me why I'm delighted to no longer have a roommate ;-)

NYCPonderings Chick said...

@SO-good to know I can nauseate you with my writing, seriously though don't ever hook up with a girl nicknamed Smelly

@Jar-That underwear is sexy, thats why i posted it, its a paid i owned back in 1812, nice huh

@Mort- that sounds amazing, sounds like your roommate is one classy guy

@MSP- yes take pictures of yourself with tons of marshmellows in your mouth, fun things to do when single and alone

@Lisa-if we could only all be as lucky as you

ZenDenizen said...

Love the Zoolander reference.