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Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Why I Imagine My Roommate's Parents Having Sex and other lively events


My new roommate has a weird phenomenon going on in her life called, ‘her parents are still married’. It is very strange and I am not quite sure how to handle it. For instance, on holidays she only has 1 house to go home to, I mean, that’s just strange and no step-half-quarter-from-another-mother anything. Sometimes I just want to study her, if not purely for the fact that she has enjoyable boobs to stare at…but regardless … her parents, of which I will make up two names to protect the innocent, let us call them “Parah” and “Fike”. Well recently a lot of discussion has been turned towards how Parah and Fike keep up their relationship so well. We have concluded it must be the wild sex. Now whenever there is a lag in the conversation I like to say things like, ‘So you think Parah and Fike are getting it on, on the kitchen table right now?’ or ‘You think Parah and Fike are doing it doggy style over the ottoman?’ or my personal favorite ‘so you think Parah is taking it in the ass right now while watching QVC?’ This has become such a favorite pastime and topic of discussion that we have designated rooms that Parah and Fike must be getting it on in.

Not to mention Parah and Fike are never just having normal missionary style sex, no no, we (and when I say “we” I do mean “I”) like to imagine them in some sort of tantric position, one leg in the air, the other leg tied back with rope covered in cottage cheese or something, I’m just guessing, maybe lo-fat cottage cheese or the one with chives in it.
The only reason I have been able to keep up these sex talks for as long as I have is that fact that I have never met the alleged Parah and Fike in person. But I do imagine them to wear very sturdy Tevas with white socks and nothing else. Maybe Fike has some kind of beading in a long string of gray hair, possibly a tattoo of an eagle… I’m just thinking out loud here.

11 Cizz-omments:

Kay said...

haha oh man is she going to laugh or cry

NYCPonderings Chick said...

my roommie loves me, she will laugh, we will both laugh, and then i will talk more about different positions her parents might be in

Anonymous said...

Yes...as the roommate I am definitely laughing :) Although maybe that's a little weird seeing as how it's my parents you're talking about...hmmm...either way, I can't wait for you to meet them...HAHAHA

NYCPonderings Chick said...

@Anon- blake i couldnt live my life fully without you lady, or without your parents sex life for that matter

Ha Ha Sound said...

"so you think Parah is taking it in the ass right now while watching QVC?"

Dude, I just spit coffee out my nose. That's fucking hilarious!!

UBERMOUTH said...

That's funny.

modelbehavior said...

You're probably right about the sex. Long term relationships are so boring.

Can you contact them and get some insider kinky tips for us? Thanks. Eeew! These people are someone's parents! Nevermind, just give me your sex tips...lol

NYCPonderings Chick said...

@ HA- I'm glad I am the cause of stains on your pants..ahh err maybe that didnt come out right
@Uber- thanks, i try
@Model- always pretend like you're enjoying, no matter what 'it' is, that is my tip of the day

MsPuddin said...

My parents are still married and I think I just threw up a little in my mouth. Thank NYC chick for painting such a pornographic picture that could be applied to my parents well being…

MsP

NYCPonderings Chick said...

@MSP- oh dear I am so sorry, well as long as your parents aren't still doing it on your old bed right? or are they? hmmmmmmmm

Quin said...

i still say, and will continue to say (since i am the only one of the group with sex on both sides of the generation gap)

thinking about parents having sex? meh.


thinking about your children having sex?

three things happen...

1.you hope your son grew from the last time you saw him naked when he was 7

2.you know your daughter is the next virgin mother

3.you burn your mind's eye with acid


jus' sayin' is all.