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Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Soldiers, a Tale of Being Lost in the Crowd

Saturday nights are what I call a “blood bath” …it is a war scene with every man out for himself…the last Saturday I spent out in the city I was greeted by a long line of people. A line? People apparently didn't know this was Murray Hill and not fucking Studio 54. Then inside it was so crowded that trying to walk to the back of the bar was more like passing through the receiving line at a wedding; you stand there, moving slowly, passing people nodding and smiling, sometimes bowing like a small Chinese man. And without fail one of your friends somehow gets lost in the crowd or falls behind the ranks, you leave them and don’t stop to look back….you can never stop to look back! You wait until everyone is back outside the bar and then figure out who is going to go back in and retrieve the man-down. Whoever is “the chosen one” ventures back into the bar like a soldier going back onto the combat grounds…. her purse flinging everywhere, chest puffed out, hands pushing away people on all sides, stilettos crushing rolling beer bottles like tiny land mines.



During this time, the friends waiting outside have their own heroic duties to perform. They are put into high-texting mode. This involves everyone texting simultaneously, “Where are you?” to the girl left behind. If she does not respond within a calculated minute and a half, then there is another, more angry text sent out. “You better get outside before we leave without you...” In this text sometimes CAPS are put into use… because as we all know CAPS MEANS BUSINESS. If the mission becomes too much for one person to handle, a 3rd girl be sent in to retrieve both Girl A and Girl B. This is done only under severe circumstances …and by “severe” I do mean,one of the girls waiting outside has to pee.

8 Cizz-omments:

MsPuddin said...

Ha ha and that girl would be me. It’s a good thing I’ve mastered the art of popping a squat…

MsP

Anonymous said...

or she has to get a slice of pizza immediately

NYCPonderings Chick said...

MS- seriously, way to work it girl!!
An- yessss always waiting to get pizza outside, waiting for some chic lost inside who didnt get the memo that the bar was donzo

Captain Smack said...

Partying is Hell, but I admire your bravery, and your decree of "No Chick Left Behind". This makes me proud to be an American.

So@24 said...

ooooh! nothing is worse than the overcrowded bar. and you're absolutely right, you CANT look back. if your friend gets lost in a swarm of elbows, backs, and shoulders... you have to let them go. they're gone.

reminds me of the ol' fraternity days.

Ha Ha Sound said...

It's funny how girls do that. Guys are so different. If one our friends gets left behind, we're all like, "Well, I guess he's hooking up with somebody" unless he tells us to wait.

Unless it's a friend who's got no game. Then we worry.

modelbehavior said...

I try to leave no girl behind but it's virtually impossible. They always get distracted by a man, a DJ, or a corner to throw up in. At the end of the day are we partying or babysitting?

Quin said...

in the throw up party, i was always the hair holder.


meh.