SELFABSORBED.ME

Having actually sat down with some with a new device…no, kids, a new ‘remote control’, let’s not live in fantasy land…or at least MY fantasy land thank you… I finally got around to watching the first ever episode of Quarter Life. It was just me.. a bottle of wine…and a bottle of percocets. It was very cozy to say the least. Now about ten minutes into the show I became utterly enraged… and no it wasn’t just the fact that the Tottino Rolls in the oven set at 475 burst into flames…or even that the neighbors above me where having mind-blowing sex again while I figured out a way to tighten my retainer….it was more so about how they were portraying my generation to millions of viewers across the United States. I was rather disbarred by the context of the show and I feel as though I need to directly address all the misinformation shown about life in your mid-twenties.

For starters….the main girl lives with two roommates. WHAT?! That is blasphemy! We 20-somethings do not live with roommates…we live in our own luxury one bedrooms with marble counter tops and pristine hot-tub bathrooms. I personally like to come home after work to my huge penthouse, say hello to my doorman Benjamin, go inside my 20 million gold plated door, sit on my leather couch, stroking my white cat and singing along to Mariah Carey’s ‘Honey’ …but hey, that’s only when I don’t have a spa appointment.

Let us move on to the next “LIE” if you will. The main girl is a ….wait for it…wait for it...a blogger (WHAT?!)…who doesn’t like her real job (WHO?!)….is attracted to a guy who isn’t attracted to her (WHEN?!) ….and thinks her blond roommate sleeps around too much (WHERE?!) …Now I think I can pretty much speak for every 20-something out when I say…these are just outright silly lies. I mean, who wrote this stuff?!

All I know for sure is whoever did write this clearly knows nothing about being in you 20’s, because if he or she did, they would understand that being in your 20's is a pure, magical, joy, unlike any other, where there are no bad feelings, life is all about fun, no stress and the last time I cried was out of a fit of joy when my rent check came in. Someone realty needs to go speak with these producers and let them know what is going on and how to portray a more accurate account of 25 year old life next time. Now if you will excuse me Mr Whiska's needs to go get fed his kitty caviar now.