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Wednesday, February 27, 2008

College Drinking And Express Pants

I know this bitch...she slept with myboyfriend in 2001...so smashed her fucking grapes


A friend of mine was recently reminiscing over how in college we used to live right across the street from a bar....as opposed to now how we….well, live across the street from four bars. But it is not the same I tell ya! Not the same at all!

For starters, the first college bar I ever went to, I almost got arrested at. (Hi Mom and Dad!)
And that is why it is so precious and special in my memories. It was a Mexican place that served 19 dollar burritos and 2 dollar drafts….I don’t know why or how things like that work, I just know it makes them even more magical, because you can only afford the side-plate of refried beans, so no one ever has enough money to both eat AND drink….so we just drank and would have seven of us share the garden salad appetizer.
Brilliant.

Made with pride and love...and a whole lotta dog meat


The night of the almost-arrest occurred like most others…it was 2001 and I had just walked out of my dorm room in boot cut black pants and a fluorescent Express tank top. It was all the rage. I was fairly obsessed with 112's Peaches & Cream and was banking on hearing that and Train’s Drops of Jupiter (the remix) that night. When I smiled at the ID Checker that night I handed over my fake Maryland ID with a 555 Street Lane address and about 5000 fucking emblems on it that stated, ‘This Is Not A Real ID’.

Good thing the 70-something lady in the smock dress who just moved to America last week was the one checking my ID.

About an hour or so into the evening I was on my fourth, Malibu-Baybreeze-Candy-Cotton-Blue-Serpent drink when out of nowhere about seven cops bum rushed the front door. Well like most normal, underage, college students we stopped mid-grind on the dance floor to start screaming. Yes. Screaming. You would have thought the building was being attacked by a sea monster the way the shrieks were coming out…and that was just from the guys. In a mad panic we all started trying to make our way out of every exit that we possibly could. I remember vividly throwing my fake ID to the ground, which was now literally covered in fake ID’s. About a hundred Joses Moses from California titled the ground.
Amongst all the commotion I remember my friend Molly grabbing me by the hand and pushing me out through one of the exits. Being that I am little I rely on tall people to save me in situations, as normally I just sit there helpless and cry calling out for my Papi.
Just then two cops spotted us and started shouting, ‘YOU COME BACK HERE RIGHT NOW, HEY, SOMEONE GRAB THOSE LADIES RUNNING DOWN THE STREET…IN…WHAT ARE THOSE…BOOT CUT BLACK PANTS?...AND A NEON TOP?..."

Molly and I and about four other girls just keep booking it back to our dormitory, along with hundreds of other kids all trying to squeeze out every exit possible. The best part though was that Blu Cantrell was still blasting outside the Mexican doors, and the old lady who checked my ID just kept saying to the officers , “BUT WE SERVE BURRITOS!”

Now I still to this do not understand her explanation to the cops, but I do know whenever I get in trouble now, or have to explain my drinking to anyone over the age of 20, I just like to turn to them and say, “But we serve burritos!”

15 Cizz-omments:

Kat said...

OMG I used to go to a very similar mexican place with cheap drinks....and yes, any fake id would work to get in!

NYCPonderings Chick said...

I think I still have my fake somewhere...and my maryland address is pretty good, like 123 Street, Main Street, USA

NYCPonderings Chick said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
survivingmyself said...

blu cantrell and burritos - a mexican tradition!

Natunia said...

oh girlll staying classy. :) haha! that story definitely made me chuckle a bit... especially the last sentence.

nice blog!

Jocular Schlemiel said...

Whatever happened to schools having pubs on campus? They could lower tuition because of the amount of cash flowing in from $1 beast drafts.

NYer said...

at my school they tried to enforce a dry campus and have no bars anywhere nearby!

modelbehavior said...

I miss my old delaware fake ID. It got stolen by this crazy chick in our library who snagged my whole wallet (yes, it was prada). Going out just isn't as fun anymore when you don't have to worry about getting caught.

So@24 said...

That bitch is always gettin in other people's grapes.

MsPuddin said...

I would have arrested your ass too, for wearing the neon green top!

DCD said...

Peaches and Cream...I need it cause you know that I'm a fiend...I think I was more of a Dance With Me fan...was that even the same album?

Ha Ha Sound said...

My first fake ID was a Gettysburg College ID that a friend of mine who went there made for me. Somehow he got the template for it, and made up a bunch of them for his friends. The cool part was that I was only seven years old at the time.

NYCPonderings Chick said...

@sur- yes, i hear the combo is very popular

@nat-thanks lady!!

@Joc- i love how you are always thinkin

@nyer- a dry what? dry who?

@model- i used to love the thrill of wondering if i could get in..being of age is overated...sad about prada :(

@So- yes, she is a boyfriend and grape stealer

@MS- IT WAS 2001, IT WAS COOL THEN

@dcd- i loved dance with me! I loved the little clapping part in the middle!!! DAMN im going to have to download that now...

@HAHA- no way you had a fake at 7?!

Quarterlifegirl said...

Hahaha, don't you love memories of drunkin underage fun...well lack there of memories, hehehe!

ZenDenizen said...

I think I know the pants you're talking about! I wore those all the time in 2001, so perfectly cut with little slits around the ankles. Damn, they don't make pants like that anymore.