So here goes nothing:
1- My nephew looks so much like me when I hold him in public places people ask me if he’s mine... essentially he is ridiculously good looking. Even at six months he gets the ladies. Diaper-crib-style
Pimpin aint easy
2- Last year I worked with Ani Difranco’s older brother
3- I got an entire group of people lost in Miami once try to find the ‘beach’ in ‘South Beach’…everyone ended up on a bus somewhere at midnight asking the driver if we were still in Florida
4- I can actually sing and not just to Journey. When I was 15 I recorded and produced my first CD. I still have a box of those CD’s in my parent’s basement somewhere….and NO, it wasn’t called the ‘Babysitter Club Blues’
5- I had a psychic tell me once that I when I grew up I was going to work in some job involving “computers” and “writing”…she was one dumb bitch
6- Four of my serious relationships were ALL with personal trainers…and I still don’t know how to use that damn squat machine without falling on top of it
Damnit why is Jimmy wearing my shorts again?
7- My ex-roommate got in a fight with T-Pain in club over the summer….I try and not get in fights, ever, but especially not with people who are named things like, ‘T-Pain’
I will tag the other unfortunate souls whom may or may not have interesting lives.
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In other news:
A DAY OF WHYS :
WHY?
WHY?
-Why do personal trainers in gyms like to use made-up terms to confuse you? Terms like “cardiovascular”, “fitness” and “aerobic activity”. By using these terms they can convince you to stand in the middle of the gym on top of a neon plastic ball, doing crunches, while swinging a jump rope. Let’s call personal training what it really is…making you look like an asshole.
-Why do you always have one friend whom you can never explain what it is they do and the more you try to explain what they do, the more confused you get? “Oh yeah Mike works with computers at this company, he rewires things, I mean he uses wires, well there are wires in the computer and he touches them… I think he touches the wires…maybe he just has other people touch the wires…I don’t know, maybe he doesn’t even see the wires, maybe he is just in a backroom somewhere studying what the wires might look like, I don’t really know..” Until you are eventually like, “Yeah fuck it, I have no idea what Mike does.”
-Why it is that one friend can never find the place is it you are going to, no matter what you do to try and help them. Even if you MapQuest the place for them, draw a diagram, highlight the route, drive their car there yourself, put them in a wheelchair and wheel them right in front of the building, they will still sit there and go, “Umm… yeah I have no idea where this place is.”
-Why can I not cook any kind of food in the microwave at work, because it is inevitable that everyone is going to want to make a comment about it. People come out of their office to try and see who is cooking something the minute any type of smell is produced. Your co-workers feel the need of actually take guesses at what the smell is, until you finally have to be like, “Dude, it’s popcorn...”
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And finally, in case you missed it...
12 Cizz-omments:
-Not from LA, but I could still kick some ass! Lol
-Damn your nephew IS really, really good looking. Pimp those diapers right off those tots baby!
-Crackin’ up @ number 3! I do the same thing. I’ve lost some friends over getting them lost! I’m also that mapquest friend. I would get out of my wheelchair walk into the building and say, “wow. I’ve never been here before, how long has this been here?”
My girl got in a fight w TO, as in Terrell Owens, as in Dallas Cowboys, as in crazy, at a club a few years ago. More like she cussed him out, drunk, hil-ar-I-ous! Your friend and my friend need to not party together…
MsP
@MSP-T.O. seems scary too, I am not sure I would be picking a fight with anyone, even that girl from the hills scares me
Babysitter's Club Blues? I got really excited for second. I thought it might have been about Stacy McGill's diabetes or Dawn Schaffer singing about global warming.
Yeah. I told you I know way too much about it. Again, I'm straight.
And I need to hold your nephew. I need to!
Might I add, I'm a huge fan of your "why" section!
that video is going to rival the comic genious of D1ck in a box
@SO- if you hold my nephew i think you would score some serious ladies, he's got it goin on like that...and the fact that you remember the babysitter's names blows me away! ha
The girls from the Hills? Only thing I would be afraid they’d do would make me go tanning, get hair extensions or wear some of their clothing lines…
Shittttt MSP, is that what happens? I thought that was a requirement in cali?...
I always thought that neon-green ball was a government experiment in long-term gullibility.
Jarod I think you might just be right
That's so true about microwaving stuff at offices. I hate that, too. There's this one guy who makes microwave popcorn at literally the same time every day, and somebody always comments about it. By saying the exact same thing. What's up with that?
HA- I have no idea, your guess is as good as mine, people love being nosey i guess, esp at the office
Yep for us that's our friend Sean...he works doing something with International Film distribution in Japan, a job that forces him to make all transactions in cash (weird). He also owns a spa and can get us discount shampoo. Basically we have no idea what he does...we're just 99% sure it's illegal,
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