Thursday, October 11, 2007

A Children's Story

One day, in a magical land called, "Neiman Marcus", there lived a little girl named Cynthia. And in this magical land, Cynthia was allowed to purchase 200 dollar tank tops, drink champagne and berate minimum wage sales employees, all without anyone judging her.

greedy bitch

Until one day a dark and evil force came across the land, and this man was known as, “Mr. Debt Collector"! He was an evil man and Mr. Debt collector told the little girl, "Little girl , if you do not pay me, I will take away all your precious gifts and jewels and make it impossible for you to ever buy a house or a fancy pink convertible car!” The little girl was so sad and cried out, "But Mr. Debt Collector! I have no money to give and I cannot give up my precious gift because they make me beautiful and popular and boys want to take me home when I wear those tank tops! Whatever shall I do?!”

Then, across the cosmetics department, rode in an old man on a white horse and although this man was so very old and balding and forty pounds overweight, he said, "Hello little girl, I will save you and I will be known to you as the 'magical sugar daddy' and I will pay for all your debts so you will never have to worry about debts again! And your only fee to me will you will have to sleep in my very large bed and watch me roll around naked.”

The little girl thought for a moment.
"Hooray!" She screamed, rejoicing. She could now continue to purchase all the beautiful jewels in the world and she would only have to be a prostitute on weekends.

Suddenly the dark cloud lifted over the magical land of Neiman Marcus and all was right in the world again!
The End.

Please look out for the rest of the Cynthia Series to be out in Bookstores soon. New titles out are:

-The Day Cynthia Throws Her Cellphone at Her Nanny

-Cynthia Goes on Her First Diet

-Cynthia’s Mom Likes To Smoke Magical Cigarettes

-Why Does Cynthia's Daddy Stay Out So Late at Night with the Secretary?

6 Cizz-omments:

Ha Ha Sound said...

I can't wait to get old so I can be a sugar daddy.

One of my dreams is to marry a woman half my age who only likes me for my money.

NYCPonderings Chick said...

haha - its good to have goals in life

Anonymous said...

Cynthia Inherits her First Diamond
Cynthia Buys A Rolex Then Goes To the Playground

modelbehavior said...

In defense of you becoming a child prostitute, expensive tank tops really do look better than cheap jcrew tank tops.

Why is that? There really IS a difference.

It's annoying as hell.

NYCPonderings Chick said...

because anything expensive must look good because you believe it to look good, its all in your mind

Actress Andrea said...

Oh man, this was hilarious...but so true. Model is right - I mean, what's the point of a cheap tank top? They fall apart in like 5 minutes! One certainly cannot be taken seriously in a hole-filled spaghetti strap number - even if it looked good on the hangar - if it was cheap and made by poor 5 year olds in Malaysia.

I want to see Cynthia on a diet. Will she learn the "binge and purge" celeb diet? The Cabbage Soup Diet? The Zone? :)